The Bongo Report

So Long, and Thanks for the Fish!

Bongo — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 15:16:00 +0000

Well, this is another fine mess! If I had made any other decision, it would have been me. I got the hard sell and they actually signed me up automatically. I only realized I was off-the-books when I got my letter in 1998 stating that I had fulfilled military obligations 100%.

Before that, I had some weird letters that they seemed to think I was supposed to show up for drill or inspection or something but I never did because I hadn't signed a contract to do so. I think they just added me to their rolls as a member who was in ETS/exit mode. I don't really know. But I fulfilled my Active Duty committment and my IRR committments and was honorably discharged.

And not a year too soon!

Dad gum

Bongo — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 16:31:00 +0000

I am going to let thise classic template setting sit for a day. I have things set up so it should appear here and there. Then, if it works tomorrow, I will migrate it to blogspot and set up re-directs.

No Work!

Bongo — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 15:26:00 +0000

So while I am not getting a ton of work done at home, I am really getting into re-directs, DNS and other web tricks to try to get the new templates from Blogger, the auto-load comments from haloscan, and my old blog.htm site auto-forwarding to my new blog domain.

I think I need a drink.

Oh, and if you are reading this post, then test # 263,544 was a success!

Next!

Bongo — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 16:04:00 +0000

Are we there yet?

Blogger test, day 2

Bongo — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 14:21:00 +0000

So my blogger testing is still a no-go. If you are reading this message, then DNS propogation has occurred. If not, then, well...I am still working on it.

Blogger is OK

Bongo — Tue, 09 Jan 2007 14:58:00 +0000

I may have figured out how to use Haloscan comments with the new version of Blogger templates.

If you are reading this , then it worked.

Osama and Religious Zealotry

Bongo — Sun, 07 Jan 2007 14:57:00 +0000

One of my aunts sent me an e-mail yeterday with "Osama" as a subject line.

I expected it to be something about the terrorist leader who orchestrated the 9/11 attacks.

Instead, it was an e-mail portraying Barak Obama as a militant Muslin extremist and stating that Barak Obama's work with the United Church of Christ is a sham and is simply there for political convenience.

I replied to my aunt asking her if she really thinks Jesus would approve of her sending e-mails filled with lies and half-truths. I also informed her that Republicans are still pissed off that the African slaves were freed, and that it has created ingrained racism in the Republican party that reinforces my personal ethics that I should NEVER vote for a Republican for President.

She got pissed off at me and called me just another "radical Democrat" and said she campaigned for a freshman congressman this year based on his ethics, and by golly he's a Democrat, praise God! She also said she would remove me from her e-mail list. (Praise God!) She further accused me of ALWAYS sending a negative reply to her when she sends out her biased e-mails.

I have not replied to her negativley in the past three or four years. I may have blasted her once before about supporting GWB2 for re-election. The only other politically oriented family e-mail I have ever replied to had to do with a different political hot-button issue that was also a political smokescreen (gay marriage).

No politician really gives a rip about Gay Marriage unless it might get them votes. But that e-mail reply was to a different aunt entirely, so while the aunt who called me a "radical Democrat" may have been on the reply-all list (and shocked that I am indifferent to Gay Marriage) I did not reply to her about that topic.

My final reply was to inform her that the only candidate I supported last cycle was the Independence Party candidate for Senate, Robert Fitzgerald.

She has removed me from her e-mail list and is no longer replying to me. Now THAT is the behavior I would expect from a good, moral-drivan, ethical Christian woman!

Aunt Jeanie is a hypocrite. The truthiness is out there.

Little does she know...as the next Presidential election nears, I will start sending our pro-Democrat e-mails to my entire family.

No Comments, No Blogger?

Bongo — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 14:08:00 +0000

It looks like Blogger.com will not support Haloscan.com comments on blogs that are hosted via an FTP account.

I have two options:

(1) Migrate my blog to a blogger.com hosting service and set up a re-direct to my jonnordin.com URL,

(2) Migrate my blog to Typepad or something like that and dump blogger.com altogether.

EightandFive.com is managed using Typepad, so I will look into that. I would like to migrate my existing archive to Typepad if that is possible, so I will think about it and you may notice weird changes over the next few weeks.

"Not I!" Said the Duck.

Bongo — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 13:24:00 +0000

So I found out what the LRH thingie is all about now. The LRH crew is a reference to The Little Red Hen children's book. It stems from the first time Heidi, Julie and Carrie got together to make pierogies and cabbage rolls. They sent word out that it was going to happen and nobody showed up to help - yet everybody who did not show up would enjoy the fruits of their labor...much like how all of the other animals wanted to eat the Little Red Hen's bread after she made it. Thus, LRH was born.

I buy that story mostly.

But I am not sure if they made the LRH reference in a "Before Heidi moved to CT perspective" or in an "After Heidi moved back from CT" perspective.

Because I do recall a time many years ago going to either Heidi's or Carrie's to make cabbage rolls. I don't think pierogies were on the menu yet. This must have been 1996 or 1997. Of course, just because I was there doesn't mean I did anything.

I probably just showed up and drank beer.

The Times They Are A-Changin'

Bongo — Sat, 06 Jan 2007 15:01:00 +0000

So as I transition to me new job duties, I have to reconcile the challenges and excitement versus whether or not I wish to remain with the company. It's not that I don't like my peers or my job, but it may be time I earnestly work toward having a job I love instead of merely having a job that pays the bills.

There certainly is no shame in being "in computers". I like to leave it at that when discussing it with the non-believers.

As a product of Gen-X I am still amazed that I have a job at all, much less one that affords me the opportunity to pay two mortgages a month. Perhaps I should consider becoming a slum-lord. Then I could jack up rents for poor people and my wife could sue me when I throw them out on the street. Well, she would probably have to recuse herself.

In any event, I am quickly absorbing new leadership roles and managing new projects and my boss is cool, so I really just need to figure out if it is what I want. Of course, I could also pack my stuff up and ship out to India if I was feeling really adventurous. But then my wife would not be able to practice law at all.

Parties

Bongo — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 17:30:00 +0000

So I joined the planning committe for the company party this year.

All of my location suggestions were blasted immediately. Mainly because all the old farts were afraid of downtown Minneapolis...so they all went with the "safe" decision and opted to have the party at the same place it was last year.

The party is on January 20th.

Today, someone from the committe sent an e-mail saying:

I recieved a comment/concern from my boss about whether there will be enough seating for those that are eating. I remember balancing my plate and drink on one of the tiny tables in the dart game area. It seems like there were extra tables that we did not use in one of those back rooms, but I'm not sure about chairs.

Could we/should we consider setting up more 'sit down' areas, at least temporarilly?

So someone finally realizes this fifteen days before the event. I tried selling them on the sitting area at Gameworks, and all the SPACE we would have had but nobody listened.

Can I PLEASE kick someone's ass now?

WoW

Bongo — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 17:01:00 +0000

I pre-ordered the BC Expansion for WoW.

I am ready to descend into full dork-dom for at least the next 30 days. I just wish it would snow more.

If the phone doesn't ring, it's me.

Welcome Back!

Bongo — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 15:36:00 +0000

I am back to the grindstone.

The holiday vacation was excellent for me.

Although I failed to submit my timecard for the week previous to my vacation, my boss approved all my adjustments because he was on vacation too - so he didn't really feel like muddling through the additional paperwork as he tries to get caught up on tasks.

Over the holidays I gained more access too applications I will need to troubleshoot and remembered most of the things I learned from my new job.

Now if I could just get the damn Haloscan comments working again all would be well!

Toonage Update

Bongo — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 16:48:00 +0000

So in preparation for a party tonight at which I will be bringing my karaoke system, I bought three new karaoke CD-Gs featuring, Bob Marley, INXS, David Bowie, R.E.M. and the hits of 2006.

It was sort of expesnsive, but it will be nice to have a little newer material and some fun classics. Prior to yesterday;s purchase I only had a single INXS song, so all the additions are welcome additions.

I also indexed them and posted the updated lists at http://www.jonnordin.com.

There was a set of three CD-Gs that Julie got for me in 2005 that I had never indexed either, there are actually six new CD-Gs in the updated karaoke lists.

I also figured out why Excel was listing some in this format with a dash: xx-xx, but sometimes was using slashes like: xx/xx.

Apparently, CDs 1 through 12 were interpreted by Excel as Months and Days, so when you looked at the cell, it would automatically convert your information to a date, thereby creating a slash automatically.

On the advice of my wife, I changed all the slashes and dashes into asterisks. I was hesitant because I thought Excel might multipy the fields then, but it didn't.

I stubbornly did a Find and Replace to change all the asterisks into dashes, but I do not recommend you use an asterisk as your "Find" term. Excel interprets the asterisks as a Wildcard, so when I did that it cleared every cell in my spreadsheet - no matter what was in it - and changed them into a dash!

I used Control-Z to undo!

I have it all in order now.

Happy New Year!

Chrysler Shame

Bongo — Fri, 29 Dec 2006 18:30:00 +0000

Chrysler announced today that they have a deal in place with Chery Automobile Company of China in order to build small cars for a world-wide market.

So here's what's going to happen: it will actually be cheaper for Chrysler to farm out creation of a car from end to end as opposed to building a car people want to drive? Hey, if they can build a car that will get 80 MPG, I doubt they would have a problem selling it - anywhere.

How is it they always blame labor costs as the fault for everything? What about dividends? What about corporate malfeasance? What about shipping out jobs to other countries - thereby taking jobs away from American workers?

I am sure we will lose more jobs to China as they emerge from the dark ages, but this is a pretty big loss.

Bongo Falls Hard!

Bongo — Wed, 20 Dec 2006 16:45:00 +0000

During wintertime, I am always extra careful about not falling on ice or other slippery surfaces. I take extra caution to avoid a pitfall which might lead to an injury to my back, kneecap or cranium. This winter has been mild, so maybe I am getting careless.

I stepped out to Walgreen’s this morning. I made my purchase and headed out. As I was getting to my car, I was reading the receipt. I didn’t see that there was a curb. I just thought there was a smooth transition from sidewalk to parking lot.

I missed the step and tumbled forward, all the way down, head over heels.

I somehow managed to break my fall. I was holding my purchase in my left hand and made the split-second decision to take the fall on my left kneecap. As my left kneecap impact crunched into the parking lot, I tumbled forward and stopped the worst of the fall with the palm of my right hand. Since I am a large man, the momentum was still carrying me so I did a quick shimmy and somersaulted to a stop.

I am not sure how I avoided hitting my head in all that, but right now the pain is in my left knee, my right calf (which must have flexed too much or something) and my left hand. Thankfully not my back!

My left knee is the least padded so it hurts the most, but not really that bad considering I tumbled forward and the brunt of the trauma went to my right palm.

Fortunately, the fat in my palm protected me. It’s just a little tender – and I didn’t even get bloodied!

Of course, after falling the first thing I did was look around me.

There was a man in a car about twenty feet away in his car getting ready to back out. I could tell by the saucer-shaped extra-large size of his eyeballs, and the surprised and shocked “Oh”-shape of his mouth that he had witnessed the whole thing!

Damn!

Well, he stopped his maneuver to back out and it looked like he was having an inner-debate on whether or not to help me. To an observer in his position, it would have looked like a very hard fall – which it was. I was just very lucky and landed as perfectly as possible.

Instead, I gave him the “thumbs-up” and immediately sprung to my feet and continued to my car and acted like nothing happened.

Now the only thing hurting is my pride.

Rockin' Around

Bongo — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 21:21:00 +0000

So tomorrow night we will do something with my buddy J to celebrate his birthday. It will be fun, whatever it is. I have left it up to him to decide...that way when we end up at 22nd Ave Station he has only himself to blame when he gets some skank's phone number.

Saturday we will head up to Duluth to see my sister graduate from college. If we don't see her, we will at least have a cocktail with her at Grandma's. I do have a room booked so we will be able to stay overnight.

Sunday we will drive back and hopefully I will get to watch a little football. Maybe, maybe not. We also have to squeak in some Christmas shopping before too long.

Family Feud

Bongo — Mon, 11 Dec 2006 16:35:00 +0000

Whew! I thought we were feuding but I think it's over before it spiraled out of control.

That's a good thing.

Dec 9th Keginator

Bongo — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 18:01:00 +0000

The kegger is coming together. I had to work the phones to see who is or is not coming. I was worried for a second there but I think we had people not responding to the evite due to having sent it out so early.

The problem is we sent it early because we didn't want to have to fight for a date for our kegger. Then one of our friends who knew when we were having the kegger picked the exact same date for her going-away party...so our plan back-fired anyway.

Let it be known to all: WE PICKED DEC. 9TH FIRST!

Oh well. If I go to Bangalore, I will track her down and make her do shots of Ouzo until she pukes purple.

WoW

Bongo — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 17:58:00 +0000

So I am not going to post about Warcraft 2.0 on the other sites...but so far it is a welcome change. I do believe I will have a pimped-out 'toon with all the best lootz even sooner than planned. AND I will not have to spend any in-game cash to buy a damn thing! Take THAT IRS!

I can actually go back to PLAYING THE GAME instead of worrying about how much MONEY I need to grind out to BUY the phat lootz!

I would guess the green and blues will start to rise in price now that lower-level 'toons will still need grinding equipment.

Crafting Madness

Bongo — Mon, 04 Dec 2006 16:06:00 +0000

We went to the Midtown Market for the No Coast Craft-o-Rama this past weekend. Although it was in a much larger venue, it was still a jam-packed affair. We never did find my cousin's booth and we gave up finding him.

You can find him and his wife here though:
http://www.lonnyunitus.com/
http://www.booksbyj-me.com/

You should follow those links and order something.

That night we went to a friend's party in South Minneapolis and several people were raving about having attended the "No Coast" show, so it is gaining even more steam!

We also put u our Christmas tree this weekend. It is awesome! We ran some lights and wispy white stuff up the bannister as well so it looks sort of wintery/snowy or something.

I am going to check on whether or not we will need an 8 or a 16 gallon keg for next weekend. I have several people lobbying me for 16 gallons but I am not going to do that unless we have at least twenty attendees.

Since Robynne hosed us by scheduling her party the same night - even though ours was scheduled a full week ahead of her party - she is leeching attendees with the whole, "Going Away party for my India Adventure" theme.

That's OK though. Some people last weekend said they planned on attending both parties.

I just need to know if the core group of beer drinkers is going to be up the the challenge - or if it will be me, my tree, and a keg.

Annual Flu Bug

Bongo — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 15:05:00 +0000

The flu bug is making its rounds at work. At least...that's what people are claiming.

They're all lying. I can tell.

They might have three-two flu, but they're not actually ill. Lying bastards.

Monday Night Salvation

Bongo — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 05:44:00 +0000

The goddamned Jesus freaks are beating on my door. They want to come in and ram a bottle of 100% pure salvation down my throat even though they know it will kill me. I saw one last week following me. At first I thought she was just another chubby girl who wanted to sleep with me. It happens you know. It has something to do with my girth and my penchant for telling them I love them. It’s not that I love them specifically…it’s just that I love ALL women. It’s not like I try to get them to follow me, they just do. I ran down the street - very slowly. After all, I am a fat man. I slowly scurried down the street and ducked into the nearest Wal-Mart. One thing was certain…if she followed me in she would find plenty of soulless bastards to save and would soon forget about me. That’s not quite how it worked out. They descended on my house around 7am tonight. I was settling down for a mellow evening of Monday Night Football. For grins and giggles I put on some easy listening jazz music in the background and I was going to read some Heinlein. It’s not that I subscribe to his political ideas but the world would be a hell of a lot better off if we could keep the goddamned Christians out of our fucking politics and let Veterans of actual WARS run things awhile! You wouldn’t find us caught in any quagmires with any social or political fallout because they would FUCKING THINK about an end game before they committed young men and women to DIE in a foreign land. That reminds me, who’s going to gang-bang Lulu when we’re all overseas? I hope some skinny peckered civilian is up to the task. They all make me sick, but at least they don’t try to pour Salvation down my throat in the guise of cheap wine and flatbread. Initially, I opened the door. When I saw their flaming eyes and the black flesh falling away from their skin, I screamed, slammed the door and locked the deadbolt. It wasn’t what they expected. They knew I was in here. They have been tracking my movements possibly for months. I lit a cigarette. I don’t smoke, but I hoped the smell of fire and brimstone would scare them off. It only increased their presence. I heard them calling someone. I got the garden hose from the basement and hooked it up to the washtub. As they were prowling about outside I opened one of my basement windows and sprayed them screaming, “Get the fuck off my property! I’m a fucking Buddhist! I don’t want to be saved!” They screamed and hollered, “Jesus is the way!” I yelled, “Fuck you!” They started singing Amazing Grace and moved away from the range of my water hose. I yelled out that my soul was lost in the desert when I was alone. I was walking along a forgotten dune in a forgotten country and I was nearly out of water. I came across a small dog who said, “I am here for your soul”. I told him to get lost. He did…but not before he bit me. It hurt like hell. The only pain comparable is a rotting tooth. The pain of a rotting tooth will make you wish for death. It will make you want to take a dry stick and pound it into your mouth in order to drive the rotten tooth from your gum-line. If you’re lucky…you will accomplish just that. If not, well…you die. I scrambled up to my attic where I could observe the Christians lurking about the shadows. They’re still there. I think they’re channeling the squirrels to spy on me. That’s kind of weird and sort of witchcrafty… I wouldn’t expect Christians to resort to voodoo but in this time of Salvation they’ll try any damned trick. The end apparently justifies the means. I don’t know what I am going to do. I am digging in. I have a water supply. I have food. I have a secret entrance. I don’t want to use it except as a last resort. Once I use the secret entrance they’ll know where it is and they’ll be waiting for me next time. It’s not that I don’t love them. I do. I really do. I love them more than they will ever love Jesus. I just despise their tactics. They’ll lie and cheat because to them the end really does justify the means. It’s not going to happen. I am locked in and loaded for bear. They’ll never take me alive.

Archives Repaired

Bongo — Tue, 21 Nov 2006 02:20:00 +0000

I found the setting that Google did not propogate in the migration to the new Blogger style. I manually modified the settings so now the archives should function properly.

I will continue to dog the Haloscan issue until comments are functioning again.

Blogger Scrambled My Comments

Bongo — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 16:14:00 +0000

If you want to send me an e-mail, feel free to do so. But it looks the the LIVE version of the new blogger is scrambling the Haloscan comments.

I will add comments back as quickly as possible...but they might be blocking Haloscan in effort to get us to use the lame blogger.com commenting system.

In any case...I need new tires. Probably four of them. Who wants to make a donation? Please send all of your spare cash to me. Thanks.